Can an employer deny FMLA for Military Exigency even though the employee hasn't received FMLA P/W?

I am deploying next month and my husband indicated to his workplace's HR department that he would like to apply for FMLA due to qualified military exigency. When he first spoke to HR, he was told that they didn't know what that was. When he called back, he was told they would be denying his request even though he never filled out any paperwork or received any notice of eligibility etc. The third time he contacted them, he was given the number to a third-party agency through which to file his FMLA claim but was told by his actual employer that even if the third-party approves his FMLA request, they can deny it. Additionally, he was told that if he chooses to keep pursuing it, he will be fired for attendance. He still has not received any paperwork from either the employer or the third-party, even though by law they have 5 business days upon first finding out of the need for FMLA, to get out the forms. How can you deny someone FMLA when you haven't even assessed whether they are eligible (he is, has been with the employer over 12 months and worked over 1250 hours), and whether what they are requesting falls in line with being covered under FMLA? They haven't assessed whether he's asking for intermittent or consecutive leave or how often he needs to be out, etc. We are now supposed to attend a conference in Boston with the military for which the government has already paid our travel this weekend and they keep giving him the run around about whether or not it will count against his attendance. The conference was originally scheduled for last weekend but the manager never changed it even though my husband notified them of the change, then forced my husband to use his PTO for the time originally scheduled even though he didn't need to be out that weekend anymore and was refusing to allow him to use PTO this weekend to cover his absence. Is this legal???